As you know, I am married. My husband is 4 years older than me, he is English but with a bit of Italian as well. He was adopted when he was a newborn but he has a good family. I met him in college, just outside when I wanted to have a fag with my friend, and he was the person I borrowed a lighter from :) haha not really romantic, I know :D but it wasn't the love from the first sight.. oh no... I couldn't even remember what he looked like.. then after some time, I got a message off him saying "You fit" . Haha i thought he was one of these that you just ignore! We've been talking on facebook a lot before we actually met up and when we did.. I was so worried that it would be so awkward as it usually is with just met people but it wasn't... it was like we've known each other for years!
When we got together, I really didn't expect to be with him any longer than a month but .. well.. here I am married to him! :D haha. I always remember my mum saying that if you really wanna see if the guy cares, wait with sex for at least 3 months... I was never good at that so I thought I'd give it a go this time and I did... He really didn't seem to be bothered by it at all which made me happy.. I knew he loved me and I loved him. We spent every minute of our free time together just watching films, talking etc. It just felt so right being with him. Then I thought I want him to be the dad of my baby :) and he is now!! :D ;) .
We got married when I was pregnant, and it was in a county hall so it wasn't a church wedding. I just got a maxi dress that I could wear on my bump :) My grandparents came from Poland for this and we just had a bbq after at my parents' in law :) the weather was lovely and I couldn't ask for better. We were planning on having a church wedding etc in few years after in Poland but now it just feels weird thinking about marrying your husband, so we decided not to... Do i regret it? Yes, of course! Which girl wouldn't want that special day where she gets to wear the most beautiful dress and have it as she always wanted! It hurts knowing I will never get to wear a wedding dress.. I never even had a honey moon.. but if I had to chose either have all that in a proper way so wedding dress, lots of planning, lots of families or just marrying the guy I'm married to now, I would always choose Andy. I hope maybe one day, we will get to have our honeymoon one day... MAYBE :)
Our marriage isn't perfect.. but to be honest, if it was... it would be boring! We argue... not a lot but when we do, it's really bad... it's constant "Do you wanna leave me?" "Does that mean it's over?" etc... but it never is... and I never leave... at the end of the day, it is proven that the first 3 years of marriage are the hardest and we went through worse to be honest :) We are so similar to each other but again so different. We are from two so different worlds.. He is from one of these families that were never hard up with money.. he had everything and I was one of these that I was happy if I had warm, proper dinner on a table after school :) We sometimes don't understand each other because of that cuz as now I have money because he works, I want to give our son everything ! Simply because I've never had it and I want to spoil Niko as much as possible. Just like I want Niko to have a full family because I've never had a father other than in my early childhood my ex step dad who was only violent to me. I want Niko to have family holidays, family time.. just enjoy himself while being so young when I couldn't. I had to grow up really fast as at age of 7/8 I was just felt on my own in my neighbourhood because my step dad took my sister to town for some meal and to go to the cinema. I had to cope on my own. At least I had my grandma living really close to me so I could always go and eat something when I was hungry :) . But anyway... I want Niko to have the best life, he could possible have and for Andy, spoiling him just isn't right.. whenever we argue about this kind of stuff, we just try to explain our views and we get to the agreement.
That's what marriage is about... understanding, listening, talking, sorting things out... and that's what we do even if it takes us days with not talking to each other at all, we still get to the point to just sort it out at the end of the day. I love him more than words can describe! Just like I hate him as well :D . He does my head in almost every day and I just wanna slap him in his face! But thats still what marriage is about... even thou we are annoyed with each other, we still love each other and we fix whats broken! He is my soul mate, best friend and husband, all in one! <3 . He helps me to survive, he supports me with every decision I make. We work together. We deal with everything together! It's not me and him anymore... It's us now and I will never let it change!
Thanks for reading :)
xxx
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